We could have had just two contestants tonight. They would be Crystal Bowersox against the best that each of the other contestants has to offer, and Crystal would just blow them all away as if they were dust.
1. Casey James – Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow – Fleetwood Mac – Casey did leave us thinking about tomorrow, yesterday and any time but not as we watched. He did the song well enough, but he was off key throughout which destroyed a classic for us. We don’t care that he attempted to imitate the song as much as possible, but his vocal sounded more like an off key Huey Lewis instead of Lindsey Buckingham. We have said throughout he is not a soloist, and should be in a band, and that rang true again, but this week, even a band could not have saved the performance. For the first time we can remember, Casey was off key and it wasn’t pleasant. (6/10)
2. Lee Dwyze – The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkle – Lee is possibly the most artistic of the group of performers this year and he also has possibly the most recordable style. Each week we can close our eyes and imagine bopping down the highway cranking up a Lee Dewyze tune. He knows how to really twist a song so it is current and catchy. When you can do that with one of the greatest Simon and Garfunkel songs of all time, that says you are a star. (9.8/10)
3. Tim Urban – Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls – Tim did a wonderful arrangement of this song. His guitar was nice. But unfortunately, he didn’t sing a single note on key. He was off key throughout and it hurt to listen to. We think that had he been on key, this would have been a great performance for him, or at least as great as it could be for Tim. But it wasn’t. (4/10)
4. Aaron Kelly – I Believe I Can Fly – R. Kelly – Aaron took this song and made it his own. He made it spectacularly boring, off key and frightening. Instead of giving us a life changing experience, he gave us a channel changing one. Aaron has a great voice, no doubt, but he is so awful on stage. And we could still never see him doing anything we would ever want to listen to without a fast forward on our DVR. He should be in the bottom three. (4/10)
5. Siobhan Magnus – When you Believe – Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston (Theme from the Prince of Egypt) – You know, Siobhan can sing, but she takes the songs and makes them all sound like they came from a Disney movie. We were waiting to see if Mickey Mouse and the crew would take the stage behind her waving at the audience. She hit one saintly note at the end, but she was pitchy, dull and quite honestly bad. She keeps saying how much the song meant to her, but that isn’t an excuse for a poor performance. This was another channel changer. (6/10)
6. Michael Lynche – Hero – Chad Kroeger feat. Josey Scott – This is a classic power ballad sung by two powerful vocalists that play off each other’s sound. When a single person does it, it loses that appeal. However, Michael belted this song out. He did not pucker like he was going to eat the microphone as he usually does, and he hit every note on target. It was a strong performance even if the judges didn’t necessarily see it. We did not believe Michael should have been saved when he was, but this was another example of his better performances, when he stands still, doesn’t come across as Shrek and doesn’t do his fish imitation. Still, those steroids do nothing for us. (8/10)
7. Crystal Bowersox – People Get Ready by the Impressions – Crystal took kind of a gospel song and performed it like an absolute pro. Of course, she is an absolute pro, every week. She cannot miss. We believe she could sing a Miss Piggy song at this point and still win this competition. (10/10)
So now to weed out the most painful performers of the night. The two absolute worst by far were Aaron and Tim. Aaron should be gone by now. He is dull and horrible. There is no way he could ever win this and he is so outclassed it is pathetic. Tim is only still here because of votefortheworst, a joke of a website that just seeks to make fun of Idol. We would like to see both of these jokers go.
But we need someone else for the bottom three. That would be between Siohban and Casey. Both were equally bad tonight. But they were still leaps and bounds better than the Bobbsey Twins of horror. Either one goes and we will let out a cheer. We favor Aaron to go over Tim, but not by much.
We were wrong on one artist on double elimination week. Siobhan or Aaron should have been on the train out of LA. And they both proved they are not capable of winning unless a miracle happens for one of them. Tim, well, the miracle happens for him every week. The Sanjaya of the season.