Before we get to this week’s “Supernatural” review, I want to direct fans’ attention to an ongoing charity auction I’m doing via eBay.

One hundred percent of the proceeds benefit Partners in Health, a Haitian medical charity assisting earthquake victims. There are quite a few “Supernatural” items in the current auction offerings (which I add to every few days). And you can also give directly to Partners in Health via this page (which could get you some “Lost” swag, if you’re a fan of that show; blogger JOpinionated has kicked in some other “Lost” prizes here). For more information on the overall Watch Us Care effort, check this out.

By the way, speaking of “Lost,” are “Lost” and “Supernatural” the same show (both shows like their time travel, eh)? Were you, as I was, expecting Bobby Singer to show up and call Locke an “idjit” on Tuesday? I compared the two shows here.

OK, on to the review.

And in this episode of “Mo Reviews ‘Supernatural,’” Mo gets burned at the stake. Then the angry fans really go nuts!

I made the mistake of going on Twitter after Thursday’s episode and when I looked at the #Supernatural hashtag, it was all “Amazing episode!” “‘Supernatural’ rocked it!” “‘Supernatural’ rescued 87 puppies from a burning building!” “‘Supernatural’ cured my psoriasis!”

Apparently some fans really, really liked the episode. So feel free to burn me at the stake at your convenience. Because I thought it was just… OK.

Did I hate it? No. Did I actively dislike it? No. But there were some elements of it that annoyed me.

Is it up there with my favorite episodes? Not at all. Overall, “The Song Remains the Same” left me thinking that “In the Beginning” was better.

Here’s why “The Song Remains the Same” was just an OK episode for me: Not a lot happened. Yes, we met Michael. But we already knew he wanted to occupy Dean. For me, that scene played out much the same way the scene between LuciSam and Sam played out a couple of months ago. “Blah blah blah vessel blah blah blah you will say yes blah blah blah no free will yada yada. OK, good talk! Later!”

The only really new bit of information we got was that Sam and Dean come from a special bloodline that makes them extra vesselicious. Well, all right. That’s a thing.

The Dean-Michael scene was just sort of there for me, for a couple of reasons. First of all, I don’t think the guy who plays Young John Winchester is all that compelling. He’s more or less competent, but Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki can act circles around him, and it showed throughout the episode.

And second of all, Michael seems way too sure of how everything is going to work out.

Now, we may find out that both Michael and Lucifer should never have been so sure that the lil’ Winchesters would eventually go along with the meatsuit scheme. But this whole “Whatever, we’re gonna vesselize you!” attitude creates a problem for the show.

If two of the lead characters in a drama experience no tension or doubt — if they really feel there’s no risk or danger of their plan falling through — then why should I as an audience member feel tension or doubt? Where’s the drama in characters blithely, cockily assuming everything is going to be fine? 

The very relaxed Lucifer and Michael are clearly in no rush to get to the endgame, and that has also leached Season 5′s narrative of drive and momentum. Let’s face it, we’re more than halfway through the season, and Michael’s calmly talking about some vague point in the future when he and Lucifer will have a showdown. When they can clear time in their busy schedules of … doing what, exactly?

I think one commenter put it best last week when he or she said that for Lucifer, the Apocalypse is a hobby. “I think the apocalypse is a weekend project for Lucifer right now,” BLG wrote. He’s “waiting for parts to come in (Sam)…you know, he’ll get around to it, once he catches up on ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ and stuff, and sets up his Twitter account so he can tweet to his minions. Work out a little, get in shape.”

I certainly didn’t expect “Supernatural” to go full-on Apocalypse every week in Season 5. But I did think the show would break off “Supernatural”-sized pieces — a Horseman here, a minion there — more regularly. But for much of the time, the world and the Winchesters are going on about their business while the most powerful beings on the scene sit on the sidelines.

Michael and Lucifer are apparently fine with doing… whatever it is they do, and contentedly waiting for the Winchesters to change their minds. At some point. And the Winchesters don’t want to change their minds about being vessels. Ever. Nothing like a stalemate to create dramatic tension. 

OK, this is the part where I’m really going to get in trouble. Now, I have to say by way of context, that I love it when “Supernatural” stomps on my heart and makes me all sniffly and goes to the big emotional places.

Having said that, the Sam-Mary stuff didn’t make me sniffly. His adoring gaze I could buy, but I didn’t buy that he’d blurt out that he found her so beautiful. That moment just seemed a little forced to me.

As for Sam talking to Young John Winchester, that also fell flat for me, partly because Sam has been all over the map of late. One week he’s “I’m angry all the time,” another week he muses about wanting a normal family life, the next week he’s saying he doesn’t want that.

Also, by this point in the life of the show, I didn’t think Sam had all that much residual anger toward his father, so Sam’s “forgiveness” of him was … not a bad moment but just a moment. It was well played by Jared but it didn’t hit me full force in my “Supernatural” emotional place.

One last thing that annoyed me, then I’ll get to the stuff I liked: Anna. Now, I liked Anna last season (Light the fire! Burn the witch! Burn Mo Ryan now!). Yeah, I liked her, so sue me. But in this episode, she bugged me. I kept saying, “You are a super-powerful angel yet you don’t just walk up to John or Mary and twist their necks? Why are you wasting time and randomly throwing people around the room? Why not just kill them!?”

I don’t want John and Mary to die, don’t get me wrong. But Anna clearly made short work of the garage owner and she’s supposed to be at least a somewhat powerful angel. She walked up behind John in the garage, and she had the advantage of surprise. And she didn’t just snap his neck or stab him, and she doesn’t just kill Mary at the cabin later? She likes the big entrance with the breaking windows, but as for killing regular humans? She can’t manage it until she kills Sam (which is soon undone).

Clearly Anna was really there to set in motion the final scene between Michael and Dean. I think there was supposed to be an implication that the time travel had weakened her, but the use of Anna was just kind of a plot device to put other things in motion. I will say that the special-effects shot of Michael killing her was cool.

A question before I get to other things I liked: Was Anna setting off to kill Sam or the Winchester parents of her own volition? Or was she in fact under orders from somebody higher up in Heaven? Clearly Michael wasn’t on board with Anna’s plan, but I wonder if Castiel’s supposition was right — that she was doing someone else’s bidding. Maybe we’ll find out later.

Speaking of Cas — Cas! It was good to see him again, and I was a little sorry we didn’t get to see more of him in the episode. Any scene with subtle CasComedy, like the motel-room scene at the beginning, is a good time.

I also liked the scene at the end, when Team Free Will was enjoying their not-very-celebratory drink (well, the conscious members of the team, anyway).

My favorite serious moment, though, was the talk among Dean, Mary and Sam. The poor Winchester clan. It was somber to see Sam contemplating his own death and the boys trying to get Mary to leave John. And to realize that these horrid options were, in some ways, preferable to even worse alternatives.

OK, it’s late, and I’ve been getting very little sleep lately (the charity effort has been occupying a large amount of my time, as well as “Lost” coverage), so please forgive me if this post rambled.

In the end, for me, was this an epic, amazing, disease-curing, puppy-rescuing family mythology episode? No. It had the usual solid work from Jared and Jensen, a few well-played moments and a visit from a high-level angel, who — what a surprise — turned out to be condescending and presumptuous.

I’m hoping as we head into the final third of the season the Winchesters start wiping the smug grins off the faces of Lucifer, Michael and their arrogant minions.

Let’s kick this Apocalypse in the ass, shall we?

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