The show started just like a “Girls Gone Wild” commercial.  We were waiting for the 2 for 9.95 DVD offer at the end.  We were certainly hoping the performers would have more talent than the choreographers of this show.

This was supposedly LIVE!!  With a couple of exceptions, the show was rather dead.

Acts by numbers with scores:

1. Xtreme Dance FX  (6/10)

Fun act.  One guy and eight gals clogging and breaking a bit.  Won over Peirs, which is not easy to do.  The stupid comment of the night came from guess who? He said they all looked just too young.  They have 5 year olds on the friggin’ show they patronize, and this group of 14-26 year olds are too young?  I am not even going to say the guys’ name; you know who he is.

2. James Gang (6/10)

Again a fun act.   Four guys that do a Broadway Style show to 20s music throwing in some rap-like singing and some amateur magic.  Of course, there was one loser judge that exclaimed in the massively overused cliche, “That is what this show is about!!”.  Again, we are not going to grace this page with his name.

3. Derrick Barry as “Brittranny” Spears (3/10)

Mediocre female impersonator that lip syncs and dances with some others to a Brittany song.  He does look like a girl.  If that was what it would take to be a millionaire performer on Vegas, some of the street walkers would have something to say about it.  We suggest he change his act’s name to Britranny!

4. Elite (5/10)

A young girl that pretends to do stunts with guys that throw themselves all over the stage.  It is cute.  But it is only being voted through because it is a child sympathy act.  If she were an adult, she would be booed off the stage.

5. Ronny B (2/10)

Vote for this guy just to annoy the judges.  He is going to go on the new reality show “So You Think You Can Spaz” next year.  Lousy singing, spastic dancing, and a cornball look.  What else would you want to pay for in Vegas?  Piers did get it right though saying, “You’re better than Hasselhoff”.  Alright, we didn’t say his name, Peirs did!

6. Cadence (5/10)

Cadence had an interesting act when they first performed with just plastic buckets.  It was tight and showed some personality.  In this act, they brought on drum sets, oversized bongos, etc.  They were all over the place and just making noise.  Then they tried to do a “Blue Man Group” imitation by smashing on buckets with water on top (so original) and they lost us completely.  No talent here.

7. Jessica Price (7/10)

This girl is a very attractive young guitarist that has a mediocre voice.  She did a horrible version of Time After Time (Cyndi Lauper).  The chorus was strong and she was better than anyone else thus far.  But we still think singers belong on Idol not here.  This is for unique acts, not more singers, especially not mediocre ones.

8. Shim Shee (5/10)

Parlor Card Trick that was so obvious how it works that it amazed us that only Peirs called him out on it.  If it wasn’t for the back-flip getting the card to stick to the shoe, he may have gotten a 3.

9. DC Cowboys (6/10)

Sync dancing in cheap suits.  Piers X’ed em.  Poor coordination, weak choreography, some cheap gymnastics. Somewhat fun for a cheap wedding act. Got their shirts off.  At least they are buff.  Sharon liked the bodies and enthusiasm.

10. Neal “Fatboy” E. boyd. (9/10)

“My Mom always knew all I ever need out of life was encouragment…”.  We agree Neal, along with about 10000 calories worth of pizza and junk food a day.  “The night before she died, my grandmother got to see me sing on the show…my very first audition, she says to me, you did good darlin’ you did real good, next day, she was gone.”  The tear jerker cameo.  Oh brother.

Fortunately, he gave up the cry baby act and finally sang.  If he cut the patronizing cameo nonsense, we would have enjoyed him much more.  The performance was boring, but the voice is powerful.  He got a standing O.  We don’t like singers on the show, we think they should be on Idol if they are any good, but there was such little other talent on this show, we will take Neal over the rest.

Our top 5

1. Neal E Boyd
2. Jessica Price
3. DC Cowboys
4. Xtreme Dance FX
5. James Gang

How we think America will vote

1. Neal E Boyd
2. Jessica Price
3. Elite
4. Cadence
5. James Gang

But really, other than Neal and Jessica, none have any talent, and not even the top two are Las Vegas draws.